Tuesday, November 2, 2010

i'm back and in blogging mode aka guide to nowhere (part 2)

I first want to say that blogging is super addictive, going 4 days without blogging was hard; I felt like a crack head without their pipe. Ohh this feels so good.

Anyways, I'm sitting in the Houston Airport, on my layover, waiting for my flight and I had a few thoughts I wanted to share.

1. All the hot black men are hiding in the Houston airport, so if you're looking for one, quick, go now before I snatch them all up.

2. Like I said in part 1 of this post series DO NOT wear heels to inappropriate places, the airport is one. If you're running late for your flight, you might have to run and you are putting yourself in physical and psychological danger of face planting and having random airport kids with ice cream all over their hands and faces laughing hysterically at you, like the lady who just face-planted while trying to run in her (super cute) ysl platforms. Had she read my blog she would have never put herself in that situation, so let her (hilarious) embarrassing tale be a warning to you.

3. Do not wear large tote bags in the club. Are you carrying your laptop in there? Are you secretly going to the bathroom to do your homework? No? Then don't bring it. I don't need to be dodging you and your big ass bag all night because you keep hitting me with it.

4. Do not bedazzle everything in your closet. There is nothing cute about walking outside and having the sun reflect off you to only blind everyone else. This one's for you, everyone who shops in South Beach Miami.

5. This may be the most important advice I give you all post. DO NOT use Halloween as an excuse to walk outside naked. I know Halloween is the national dress like a slut day, hey I participate too, but I do not, however, go to the club in underwear with cotton balls over my nipples and call that a costume. You know why? Because it's not! I also don't wear a g-string with a fish net body suit and call that a costume. That one is for you, girl in Club Cameo and random girl on the street on Halloween.

That's all I have for now. My flight is boarding. Thanks for reading.

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